While many of our fellow humans are suffering from the dreaded COVID-19, the fortunate ones have been granted an unexpected gift. A gift of a ton of time on your hands.
Now, if you are anything like me, you would be working hard to make yourself a better human being and contribute towards the arts and sciences. Yes, I do that. Each and everyday. In my dreams.
As a certified procrastinator(wait.. is that a thing?), I have some precious nuggets of wisdom to share. Check out these 5 ways to magically transform you from the useless piece of shit that you are to someone moderately decent.
1. GET OUT OF THE DAMN BED!
Half the battle is just getting out of the bed. Get up, do NOT check your phone. Brush your teeth, have a shower and make your tummy happy. Now, that wasn't so hard was it? I wouldn't know. Do tell me how that goes for you.
2. EXERCISE BABY!!!
That's right. Burn some calories and make yourself happy!
Smart girl from a movie. Movies are truth. Listen to movies. And me. I am the foremost harbinger of truth.
3. FIND A PRODUCTIVE HOBBY!
Sorry to bring you the sad news, but scrolling through your Instagram feed or doing TikTok videos do not count as hobbies. Or do they? Instagram can be very knowledgeable right? And making TikTok videos would improve your, uhm, nothing. TikTok is bad. I cannot bring myself to say anything good about it. I sincerely apologize to the TikTok fans/users for any feathers I might ruffle. (Now I cannot be accused of being intolerant can I? Hehe, I am genius.)
Read, write, cook, dance or learn a new language. All you have is time. Or, you can just start a blog like me. Very easy. (Crying silent tears.)
4. DO NOT BE SO DIRTY IF YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO!
Clean your room! Not what you expected? Shame on you. Cleanliness is godliness. Be it your room or your phone. Just saying.
5. LATHER, RINSE, REPEAT!
Dear reader, I have misled you. I do not have 5 ways to be productive. I have a mere 4. How is this possible? The heading said 5! Well, five always sounds better than four doesn't it?
Calm down and let that purple vein settle in your head. Anger will get you nowhere. The 5th way to be productive to repeat all the 4 steps. There! I do have a 5th way!
What are you still doing here? Stop reading and share this gold!